Poor Ol' Mr. Darwin


The scientists will be surprised

And filled with joy I think

When they discover Jesus Christ

Is the only missing link

They have searched for many years

And tried so hard to find

A picture of my Grandpa

With a tail on his behind

Tho' it's just a theory

A man cooked up one day

There's not a single shred of proof

That life began that way

Now folks I have to tell you

I have a theory too

I think Mr Darwin

Probably drank a few

Poor ol' Mr Darwin

Was drinking so much squeeze

He thought he saw his Grandpa

Swinging thru the trees

Then he probably got upset

Maybe fighting mad

Thinkin' that them monkeys

Were all the kin he had

So he cooked up this story

"The Bible lies," he said.

I'm thinkin' all that moonshine

Went right to his head

I'm sorry Mr Darwin

My Grandpa had no tail

He didn't leave banana peels

All along his trail

I tell you Mr Darwin

I knew my Grandpa well

If he were a monkey

Surely I could tell

My Grandpa liked the great outdoors

He could cut a trail

But he only did it on his feet

Not swinging by a tail

I never once saw Grandpa

Swinging thru the trees

Course I don't make a habit

Of drinkin too much squeeze

Dinner at the Darwin's house

Must have been some fun

With twigs and leaves and bark to eat

Fresh acorns anyone?

Poor ol' Mr Darwin

Must have had it bad

If his Grandpa was a monkey

I wonder 'bout his dad

I'm sorry Mr Darwin

No matter what you think

God is our creator

And Jesus is our link

If you believe in monkeys

You shall not fare so well

There's not a single monkey

Can save your soul from hell

I tell you Mr Darwin

Your theory just ain't true

If your grandpa was monkey

I reckon you are too

Shame on Mr Darwin

Spreading tales like that

Next he'll try and tell us all

That Garfield aint no cat

by Chick Velasco

Please do not use without permission

email Chick, he's a nice guy



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